Musician Misconception

I am incredibly grateful to be working with some awesome musicians that share the same passion for music, as I do (finally!!!!). This is the start of what could possibly be THE ultimate band. These guys have loads of talent and pro experience. They mean business, and refuse to settle for the mediocre mentality. We all live in different states, but the level of dedication is greater than any local groups I’ve worked with…proving again, that convenience should never be a deciding factor when following your dreams. I’m enjoying the process since they all contribute and have such great ideas/skills to bring to the table. In short, we are all professional musicians, we’re all on the same page regarding what we want to accomplish, and I couldn’t be happier about the level of talent. I have not heard the typical slam “you are trained…so you are too serious & you need to relax.” These guys are just as serious. I’ve got to admit, this has helped to fuel the fire and I’m motivated more than ever.

Most of my blog topics come from conversations with fellow musicians. This blog topic is one that comes up frequently. Today, I want to discuss a misconception regarding the life of a true musician in relation to non-musicians. By “true musician,” I mean the person that makes music more than a hobby. I’m talking about a career minded musician. My purpose is to expose an assumption regarding true musicians and hopefully give non-musicians a better understanding of why we are the way we are. True musicians may want to share this in their non-musician relationships. I realize that there are always exceptions, so please keep in mind that my opinions are based off of what I’ve experienced and what musicians in my circle have experienced.

Misconception: True musicians will eventually “grow up” and get a “real job,” especially if someone continuously points out how impractical it is to make music a career.

This misconception really hits home for a lot of musicians and we wish that non-musicians would stop assuming & trying to change us. I can’t even begin to express how selfish it is to make someone give up on their dreams because the vision doesn’t fit into the non-musician’s plans. If you choose to have any type of relationship with a true musician, you must realize that they will not be capable of giving up their music without serious consequences and the majority of their time will be spent on music. Music is unlike anything in the universe. Science has proven this! Music does so many wonderful things for a body and even more so for the person that is actually creating the music. Music becomes similar to food for a true musician. They will actually become sick and/or depressed without it. Why do non-musicians have such a difficult time understanding the true musician? They can’t relate since music is a unique passion that can’t be fully understood unless you actually become a true musician. They can’t understand how anyone can spend every waking moment on their career, even when they aren’t being paid to practice, and STILL love it regardless of the technical challenges, repetition, creative blocks, overuse injuries, expense, long hours, etc. The closest thing I can liken it to, is being a professional athlete and I’m fairly certain that athletes take all kinds of grief from people when they announce that they want to play pro-football for a living. I’m sure that people initially say, “that sounds like fun, but not many people make it and you won’t make any money unless you do. It is too risky. You need a back-up plan.”  Musicians hear the same negative words. I mean honestly, why do non-musicians feel the need to point out the risks involved, as if we never considered it? Just imagine your world if all of the athletes and musicians decided to give up because a non-athlete or non-musician said it wasn’t practical. It is okay to express your concerns regarding a career, but then why not also point out some positive aspects and wish the person well? Encouragement is a key to success in any field. No one likes to disappoint others or do poorly. Negativity only causes tension and doubt, which leads to the failure of relationships and careers. Consider how you feel when someone only points out the negative aspects of things in your life. Support dreams…not because you value the dream itself, but because you value the person that has the dream. It is not your place to judge or choose anyone’s dream. Keep in mind that the true musician, upon achieving their dreams, will not forget which people supported their dream and which people tried to tell them to give up and get a “real job.”

On the other side of the coin…

Musicians should not stop non-musicians from achieving their dreams. As musicians, most of us understand what it feels like to not have support and encouragement. Make sure that you are encouraging the dreams of others and not allowing your music to take away from their dreams. In other words, you have just as much right to follow your music dreams, as the non-musician does for their dreams. Don’t judge and claim that your music dream is more important than anyone else’s dream. Every dream is important. Remember, you don’t have to like the dream…but support the person because you like them.

Finally, if you have people in your life that still refuse to support your dreams or if they place certain conditions on supporting your dreams, you need to make a choice between your dream and that relationship. Some people are toxic. They can’t freely give their love, friendship, compliments, support, etc. without placing certain stipulations on people. They insist that everything must be done as they see the world and refuse to trust that you are capable of doing things well in your own way. They will present every negative aspect of your dream and tell you that you are irresponsible, risky, or out of your mind. This is generally brought on by the fear that your dream will negatively impact their life. Most negative people don’t like change because they can only view the negative aspects of the change. It is easier for these people to think on what could go wrong than to think on what could go right. You can’t change them, and you shouldn’t. Remember, you don’t enjoy it when people try to change you. It is a difficult thing when the people you care for the most, choose to not support your dream. I know families that oppress each other and refuse to support career paths that are outside of certain fields of study. What a terrible thing it is to control another person’s path with threats and demands that force them into a life they never wanted. What a terrible thing to make a person choose between their dream and relationships.

"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." -Oscar Wilde

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours." -Henry David Thoreau

"Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be." -Joy Page

"No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams." -Jesse Jackson