Saturday, December 29, 2012

A Year of Music

Well, here we are. We made it to the end of another year. 2012 has definitely tried my patience since January 1st. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. I kept telling myself that surely things couldn't get worse. Surely I was at the bottom and was now on my way up. Nope. Haha! I definitely had my world rocked in a bad way from January 1st thru mid-October. Looking back, I'm honestly shocked that I survived the stress. What kept me going? Music. Music has saved me over and over. I am truly grateful to have such an incredible outlet, talent, career, gift, whatever you'd like to call it. I've never been one for running off and telling my problems to every person I see, or exploding and going off on my offenders. I get more comfort from sitting in front of the piano and singing my guts out or just sitting outside, strumming the guitar. I always feel a bit better afterwards. Music keeps me grounded.

2012 taught me some very valuable lessons with regards to music and also helped me to end up in better situations by default. I'm very stubborn, and sometimes life needs to kick me to wake up and see better options. It is always my hope that someone will learn from my experiences without having to learn them the hard way. Here's what I've learned and re-learned...

  • Every person that claims to have your best interests in mind, doesn't. Words are just words...unfortunately. A person with excellent character will put their words into action. There are very few people that can claim to be a "man/woman of their word."
  • Money means more to most people than true happiness. Money is not happiness. People will give up on their dreams for more money. Money tricks people into selling out on what they really want and eats up their time in the pursuit of more money. 
  • Lazy musicians will not suddenly morph into responsible musicians. If a musician is truly interested and excited about the band/project...and isn't viewing it as just a way to kill time or collect a paycheck, they will show up for practices on time, prepared, and playing well because they have actually practiced because they care about the quality of the group, and they will commit themselves to that particular band/project. It is exactly like a relationship. The person that is truly interested will do everything they can to help make the relationship great because it is important to them. If they aren't interested, they will be wishy-washy and fail to commit.
  • Don't be afraid to let your music evolve. Placing yourself in a box will just make things tedious. Spend some time listening to other artists/bands/genres. Take lessons on a new instrument. Experience other art forms. Spend a day out in the woods. Talk with other musicians and learn from their experiences. You can expand your musical world by paying attention to things you haven't experienced yet. Every experience stirs up an emotion that you can then strive to recreate in your music.
  • Don't give up on your dreams just because others have given up on theirs. Don't listen to their negative words. Every person that I have met that has achieved their dreams has ONLY encouraged me to continue with mine. Realize that people that have traded in their dream for a "practical job" and "normal life," will want you to suffer too. Misery loves company. Don't fall for it.
  • The show must go on...even when your fingers are bleeding all over the piano. Haha! I played a gig and my fingers got all cut up on this piano. I literally played with bloody hands. The point is, you don't stop. The audience doesn't care. You NEVER bail out of a gig unless you have a major emergency, terrible sickness, or you are dead (although I'm certain I'd find a way to be there by showing up as a poltergeist or something nifty haha!). I have heard of so many musicians bailing on gigs at the last minute for petty reasons or just not showing up. This is unacceptable. Musicians want to be treated well, but we have to show that we deserve it. Irresponsible, lazy musicians have no business being in the business. Please quit now for the sake of those of us that are capable of doing the job well.
  • Treat your fellow musicians with respect. Let's face it...we all know that "one guy" that has the biggest ego on the planet or that "diva" that thinks the sun rises and sets for her. I've had to work with some ridiculous human beings. I've had people steal private students from me and then play all innocent (meanwhile, said students inform me of how things truly went down). I've had people steal equipment and music from me. I've had people create horrific lies and talk badly behind my back. Sure, it stinks when everything gets back around to me (and it always does), but I'm not going to go out of my way to treat that person poorly...or end up looking just as awful as they do. It isn't fair. It makes me angry, but I just write another great song and get over it (someday I will have a lot of less-than-stellar people to thank when I receive my Grammy Awards haha!). Sure, I don't trust these negative musicians and as a result, I'll never recommend them for anything. However, I will not treat them the way they have treated me. I will be civil and that is enough.
  • Don't let society dictate the style of music you listen to...and don't feel that you can only pick one genre! There's so much great music out there. Go experience music for yourself. Don't let people tell you what to listen to. Maybe you will stumble onto an unknown artist's music that you can connect with on a whole new level. Then you can share this music with others and so on...helping to further this artist's career. Unfortunately, people seem to like having others make their decisions for them, and many fantastic artists never get the opportunity. Please support new music. It is a fun and positive activity that does a lot of good for the future of our music.
  • Jealousy and ego trips have no place in music. Every voice, every band, every guitar player, drummer, bass, sound engineer, producer, songwriter, etc...HAS THEIR OWN UNIQUE STYLE. Stop being jealous over something that you can never recreate exactly, because you yourself have your own unique style and you should be grateful and proud of what you have. You should be working on your own skills and capitalizing on your unique style. Don't worry about what other people are doing. Be happy for their success and continue to move on towards your own success. Remember, music is a fragile thing. The best singer can crack a note or forget their words. The best guitarist can flub their solo. What we do is difficult. Let's stop pretending that it's so easy for us. Great music performances are awesome to listen to and watch BECAUSE IT IS DIFFICULT. Duh! Practicing makes us fantastic...but not infallible. There's no room for ego. Have confidence in your abilities and feel good about what you do...but don't be an ass about it. 
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! Rock on into 2013!!! 

P.S. Santa Claus brought me a band for Christmas! =) Check out my band's Facebook page and "like" us for updates! Veiled Words

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Make Your Music Happen


Things have been moving along with the band. Music is being written and we’re getting to know each other. We are still looking for a couple more musicians to join up with us, but that will happen when the time is right. Sacrificing quality to have a warm body fill the spot, is not something we’re interested in. The only real issue that we seem to have at the moment, is finding the time for everyone to contribute. I am self-employed as a musician and I create my own hours. I am swamped right now with various concerts, but I carve out time to dedicate to writing/practicing for this band. It is important to me. The other band members don’t have this same luxury. Their jobs/families keep them very busy. This is completely understandable and frustrating at the same time. While I respect their lives and what they must do, I also know that time is ticking away. There is this part of me that sacrifices constantly for the sake of my music. It is part of who I am. Are my sacrifices any less or any more than what anyone else would have to give up if they carved out time for the band? I don’t think it is fair to judge. I will always do what I have to do to achieve my music dreams. I never place my personal expectations on anyone else. I simply sit back and see if the pieces to the puzzle will fit. Time tells all. I have chosen this life for myself. No one is forcing me to sacrifice for this career. I could choose to blow off writing/practicing so that I can hang with friends more often or because I’d like to sleep a bit more. My priorities won’t let me. I know that with each moment that passes, someone, somewhere is practicing, writing, and achieving their dreams. I want that too, so I continue to press on. I will not settle for less and I will not let my sacrifices be in vain.

Breaking free from society’s view of a “normal” life, to make my music happen, has been one of the most freeing experiences ever. I understand how terrifying it is to step out of your comfort zone and declare yourself to be a self-employed musician. You never know where your next paycheck will come from unless you actively seek out music gigs. The thing is, the jobs are out there. To be honest, I’m swamped! The problem is that many musicians develop an attitude where they feel they are above certain paying gigs. For instance, I am a symphonic metal vocalist…but I also play the piano for local high school chorus concerts, music theatre events, recitals, orchestra concerts, churches, and special events. I help instruct a local high school marching band. I teach private voice and piano lessons. I play the trumpet, flute, or violin with various chamber ensembles. I record the vocals for various songwriters. I compose music for various groups. I am working in music and supporting myself. Do I love every paid music opportunity that comes my way? No. There are times when I’d like to pull my hair out. In fact, there was a time when I was so ungrateful for my music opportunities, that I actually stopped all of it to work a “normal” job. I was the most miserable person on the planet. This was a very good thing, because I realized:

 #1 It is ALWAYS my choice as to how I make money and if I am miserable, only I have the power to change that…IF I am brave enough to step out of my comfort zone and do something about it, instead of just complaining. The problem is, people make you feel like you are being risky or irresponsible by choosing a career that isn’t like everyone else’s. They threaten you with supporting your family and saving for retirement. People think that if you are told you will receive a paycheck every Friday and you receive health benefits, you are set. News flash…let’s wake up! This economy is making every job a risk. Teachers and health care providers are losing their jobs. Health benefits cost entirely too much (U.S.). The cost of living is increasing. There isn’t a safe option, so instead of living a miserable existence with blinders on and assuming that your job is safe, why not pursue a career that you will love? When you love your work, you will be a “go-getter” and you’ll go after the opportunities and do a fantastic job. Mediocre craftsmanship and poor customer service skills are getting old. If people actually loved their work, I’m willing to bet that these issues would disappear. I think that if everyone would stop holding back each other’s dreams with their own fears and insecurities, we’d all be successful and thriving. I also think that we’d all treat each other more kindly.

#2 If I’m going to succeed in music, I must tailor my money-making careers and relationships to suit the time requirements of a musician. This is reality. We have 24 hours in a day. If you don’t put in the time now, you will not have anything to show later. Quit kidding yourself with thoughts of “I’ll do it tomorrow…or someday I will have time.” If you don’t get serious now, you will never do it. There is never a “better time” to achieve your dreams. If you can’t motivate yourself to get off the couch and practice or pull yourself away from the TV to write a few bars, then you probably shouldn’t be a musician. Backbone makes a true musician…not wishbone. You will end up wishing your entire life away if you don’t make time for your dreams now. You need to figure out how much time you need to dedicate to your craft each day. Obviously, if you want to be a professional musician, you must spend more time than if you want to be an amateur. Then, you MUST stick with this. The thing that just fries me, is that people must think that the magic music fairy comes and taps me on the head and I can magically perform with ease. When I say that I can’t go out for drinks because I have practice…I seriously mean it. It is my work. It is my dream. Respect it. It is important. If I don’t practice, I become mediocre and I won’t get the gigs. If you can’t make yourself sacrifice time for practicing, don’t plan on being a professional. Your money-making career needs to be something that allows you to have enough time to achieve your goals. When I decided to work a “normal” job, I was working incredibly long hours that left me unable to dedicate enough time for music. This not only effected my progress, but exhausted me emotionally. I became a cranky person like the majority of the people out there that have settled on careers that they don’t enjoy. I did my “normal” job up to standards, but I had absolutely no drive to be an overachiever at the “normal” job. It bothered me that I knew I could be doing an even better job at the “normal” job, but lacked the desire to go beyond what was required. I knew that many of the other employees felt the same and they also had dreams of other careers. I wondered how the world would be if employers hired the people that were actually excited to do certain jobs and if we all pursued the careers that interested us. I looked forward to going home each day and stressed about returning to the “normal” job the next day. It was a dreadful way to exist. My music skills began to deteriorate and I couldn’t seem to gain any ground in music. I was spinning my wheels. Finally, I woke up…got some courage…got a business plan…and jumped completely into music.

#3 Be grateful! So, I learned to be very grateful for all of my music jobs. I genuinely enjoy working in music. I learn so much and continue to refine my skills as a musician…which helps me get closer to achieving my dream. Yes, there are quite a few frustrations. I despise working with egotistical conductors and mean people. I get highly irritated when students don’t practice and constantly cancel their lessons. I don’t enjoy being on a football field with a marching band that is bickering & has lost their drive to work because it is cold and rainy. I’m not exactly thrilled when people give me a last minute gig with incredibly difficult music to learn...that no person in their right mind would ever accept (I swear I must be insane sometimes haha!). However, I am truly grateful that people value my skills enough to seek me out. I am grateful for the paycheck, I am grateful for the wonderful musicians I have worked with, I am grateful that I have been able to help other musicians achieve their music goals, but even more than that…I am grateful that my money-making jobs allow me the time to pursue my music dream of having an incredible symphonic metal band. When people hire me, they are not only receiving a high quality performance, but they are helping me to achieve my goals in music. I’m not sure that they even consider that, but I know that I am forever grateful for their support, and I will never take that for granted.

Dreams are important. Money is important. One is not less or more than the other…unless YOU decide that for your life. Balance is the key. Sacrifice is necessary. Attitude is everything. Quit wishing and start achieving.

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!


Monday, December 3, 2012

Musician Misconception


I am incredibly grateful to be working with some awesome musicians that share the same passion for music, as I do (finally!!!!). This is the start of what could possibly be THE ultimate band. These guys have loads of talent and pro experience. They mean business, and refuse to settle for the mediocre mentality. We all live in different states, but the level of dedication is greater than any local groups I’ve worked with…proving again, that convenience should never be a deciding factor when following your dreams. I’m enjoying the process since they all contribute and have such great ideas/skills to bring to the table. In short, we are all professional musicians, we’re all on the same page regarding what we want to accomplish, and I couldn’t be happier about the level of talent. I have not heard the typical slam “you are trained…so you are too serious & you need to relax.” These guys are just as serious. I’ve got to admit, this has helped to fuel the fire and I’m motivated more than ever.

Most of my blog topics come from conversations with fellow musicians. This blog topic is one that comes up frequently. Today, I want to discuss a misconception regarding the life of a true musician in relation to non-musicians. By “true musician,” I mean the person that makes music more than a hobby. I’m talking about a career minded musician. My purpose is to expose an assumption regarding true musicians and hopefully give non-musicians a better understanding of why we are the way we are. True musicians may want to share this in their non-musician relationships. I realize that there are always exceptions, so please keep in mind that my opinions are based off of what I’ve experienced and what musicians in my circle have experienced.

Misconception: True musicians will eventually “grow up” and get a “real job,” especially if someone continuously points out how impractical it is to make music a career.

This misconception really hits home for a lot of musicians and we wish that non-musicians would stop assuming & trying to change us. I can’t even begin to express how selfish it is to make someone give up on their dreams because the vision doesn’t fit into the non-musician’s plans. If you choose to have any type of relationship with a true musician, you must realize that they will not be capable of giving up their music without serious consequences and the majority of their time will be spent on music. Music is unlike anything in the universe. Science has proven this! Music does so many wonderful things for a body and even more so for the person that is actually creating the music. Music becomes similar to food for a true musician. They will actually become sick and/or depressed without it. Why do non-musicians have such a difficult time understanding the true musician? They can’t relate since music is a unique passion that can’t be fully understood unless you actually become a true musician. They can’t understand how anyone can spend every waking moment on their career, even when they aren’t being paid to practice, and STILL love it regardless of the technical challenges, repetition, creative blocks, overuse injuries, expense, long hours, etc. The closest thing I can liken it to, is being a professional athlete and I’m fairly certain that athletes take all kinds of grief from people when they announce that they want to play pro-football for a living. I’m sure that people initially say, “that sounds like fun, but not many people make it and you won’t make any money unless you do. It is too risky. You need a back-up plan.”  Musicians hear the same negative words. I mean honestly, why do non-musicians feel the need to point out the risks involved, as if we never considered it? Just imagine your world if all of the athletes and musicians decided to give up because a non-athlete or non-musician said it wasn’t practical. It is okay to express your concerns regarding a career, but then why not also point out some positive aspects and wish the person well? Encouragement is a key to success in any field. No one likes to disappoint others or do poorly. Negativity only causes tension and doubt, which leads to the failure of relationships and careers. Consider how you feel when someone only points out the negative aspects of things in your life. Support dreams…not because you value the dream itself, but because you value the person that has the dream. It is not your place to judge or choose anyone’s dream. Keep in mind that the true musician, upon achieving their dreams, will not forget which people supported their dream and which people tried to tell them to give up and get a “real job.”

On the other side of the coin…

Musicians should not stop non-musicians from achieving their dreams. As musicians, most of us understand what it feels like to not have support and encouragement. Make sure that you are encouraging the dreams of others and not allowing your music to take away from their dreams. In other words, you have just as much right to follow your music dreams, as the non-musician does for their dreams. Don’t judge and claim that your music dream is more important than anyone else’s dream. Every dream is important. Remember, you don’t have to like the dream…but support the person because you like them.

Finally, if you have people in your life that still refuse to support your dreams or if they place certain conditions on supporting your dreams, you need to make a choice between your dream and that relationship. Some people are toxic. They can’t freely give their love, friendship, compliments, support, etc. without placing certain stipulations on people. They insist that everything must be done as they see the world and refuse to trust that you are capable of doing things well in your own way. They will present every negative aspect of your dream and tell you that you are irresponsible, risky, or out of your mind. This is generally brought on by the fear that your dream will negatively impact their life. Most negative people don’t like change because they can only view the negative aspects of the change. It is easier for these people to think on what could go wrong than to think on what could go right. You can’t change them, and you shouldn’t. Remember, you don’t enjoy it when people try to change you. It is a difficult thing when the people you care for the most, choose to not support your dream. I know families that oppress each other and refuse to support career paths that are outside of certain fields of study. What a terrible thing it is to control another person’s path with threats and demands that force them into a life they never wanted. What a terrible thing to make a person choose between their dream and relationships.

"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." -Oscar Wilde

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours." -Henry David Thoreau

"Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be." -Joy Page

"No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams." -Jesse Jackson