A Year of Music

Well, here we are. We made it to the end of another year. 2012 has definitely tried my patience since January 1st. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. I kept telling myself that surely things couldn't get worse. Surely I was at the bottom and was now on my way up. Nope. Haha! I definitely had my world rocked in a bad way from January 1st thru mid-October. Looking back, I'm honestly shocked that I survived the stress. What kept me going? Music. Music has saved me over and over. I am truly grateful to have such an incredible outlet, talent, career, gift, whatever you'd like to call it. I've never been one for running off and telling my problems to every person I see, or exploding and going off on my offenders. I get more comfort from sitting in front of the piano and singing my guts out or just sitting outside, strumming the guitar. I always feel a bit better afterwards. Music keeps me grounded.

2012 taught me some very valuable lessons with regards to music and also helped me to end up in better situations by default. I'm very stubborn, and sometimes life needs to kick me to wake up and see better options. It is always my hope that someone will learn from my experiences without having to learn them the hard way. Here's what I've learned and re-learned...

• Every person that claims to have your best interests in mind, doesn't. Words are just words...unfortunately. A person with excellent character will put their words into action. There are very few people that can claim to be a "man/woman of their word."
• Money means more to most people than true happiness. Money is not happiness. People will give up on their dreams for more money. Money tricks people into selling out on what they really want and eats up their time in the pursuit of more money. 
• Lazy musicians will not suddenly morph into responsible musicians. If a musician is truly interested and excited about the band/project...and isn't viewing it as just a way to kill time or collect a paycheck, they will show up for practices on time, prepared, and playing well because they have actually practiced because they care about the quality of the group, and they will commit themselves to that particular band/project. It is exactly like a relationship. The person that is truly interested will do everything they can to help make the relationship great because it is important to them. If they aren't interested, they will be wishy-washy and fail to commit.
• Don't be afraid to let your music evolve. Placing yourself in a box will just make things tedious. Spend some time listening to other artists/bands/genres. Take lessons on a new instrument. Experience other art forms. Spend a day out in the woods. Talk with other musicians and learn from their experiences. You can expand your musical world by paying attention to things you haven't experienced yet. Every experience stirs up an emotion that you can then strive to recreate in your music.
• Don't give up on your dreams just because others have given up on theirs. Don't listen to their negative words. Every person that I have met that has achieved their dreams has ONLY encouraged me to continue with mine. Realize that people that have traded in their dream for a "practical job" and "normal life," will want you to suffer too. Misery loves company. Don't fall for it.
• The show must go on...even when your fingers are bleeding all over the piano. Haha! I played a gig and my fingers got all cut up on this piano. I literally played with bloody hands. The point is, you don't stop. The audience doesn't care. You NEVER bail out of a gig unless you have a major emergency, terrible sickness, or you are dead (although I'm certain I'd find a way to be there by showing up as a poltergeist or something nifty haha!). I have heard of so many musicians bailing on gigs at the last minute for petty reasons or just not showing up. This is unacceptable. Musicians want to be treated well, but we have to show that we deserve it. Irresponsible, lazy musicians have no business being in the business. Please quit now for the sake of those of us that are capable of doing the job well.
• Treat your fellow musicians with respect. Let's face it...we all know that "one guy" that has the biggest ego on the planet or that "diva" that thinks the sun rises and sets for her. I've had to work with some ridiculous human beings. I've had people steal private students from me and then play all innocent (meanwhile, said students inform me of how things truly went down). I've had people steal equipment and music from me. I've had people create horrific lies and talk badly behind my back. Sure, it stinks when everything gets back around to me (and it always does), but I'm not going to go out of my way to treat that person poorly...or end up looking just as awful as they do. It isn't fair. It makes me angry, but I just write another great song and get over it (someday I will have a lot of less-than-stellar people to thank when I receive my Grammy Awards haha!). Sure, I don't trust these negative musicians and as a result, I'll never recommend them for anything. However, I will not treat them the way they have treated me. I will be civil and that is enough.
• Don't let society dictate the style of music you listen to...and don't feel that you can only pick one genre! There's so much great music out there. Go experience music for yourself. Don't let people tell you what to listen to. Maybe you will stumble onto an unknown artist's music that you can connect with on a whole new level. Then you can share this music with others and so on...helping to further this artist's career. Unfortunately, people seem to like having others make their decisions for them, and many fantastic artists never get the opportunity. Please support new music. It is a fun and positive activity that does a lot of good for the future of our music.
• Jealousy and ego trips have no place in music. Every voice, every band, every guitar player, drummer, bass, sound engineer, producer, songwriter, etc...HAS THEIR OWN UNIQUE STYLE. Stop being jealous over something that you can never recreate exactly, because you yourself have your own unique style and you should be grateful and proud of what you have. You should be working on your own skills and capitalizing on your unique style. Don't worry about what other people are doing. Be happy for their success and continue to move on towards your own success. Remember, music is a fragile thing. The best singer can crack a note or forget their words. The best guitarist can flub their solo. What we do is difficult. Let's stop pretending that it's so easy for us. Great music performances are awesome to listen to and watch BECAUSE IT IS DIFFICULT. Duh! Practicing makes us fantastic...but not infallible. There's no room for ego. Have confidence in your abilities and feel good about what you do...but don't be an ass about it. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! Rock on into 2013!!! 

P.S. Santa Claus brought me a band for Christmas! =) Check out my band's Facebook page and "like" us for updates! Veiled Words

Make Your Music Happen

Things have been moving along with the band. Music is being written and we’re getting to know each other. We are still looking for a couple more musicians to join up with us, but that will happen when the time is right. Sacrificing quality to have a warm body fill the spot, is not something we’re interested in. The only real issue that we seem to have at the moment, is finding the time for everyone to contribute. I am self-employed as a musician and I create my own hours. I am swamped right now with various concerts, but I carve out time to dedicate to writing/practicing for this band. It is important to me. The other band members don’t have this same luxury. Their jobs/families keep them very busy. This is completely understandable and frustrating at the same time. While I respect their lives and what they must do, I also know that time is ticking away. There is this part of me that sacrifices constantly for the sake of my music. It is part of who I am. Are my sacrifices any less or any more than what anyone else would have to give up if they carved out time for the band? I don’t think it is fair to judge. I will always do what I have to do to achieve my music dreams. I never place my personal expectations on anyone else. I simply sit back and see if the pieces to the puzzle will fit. Time tells all. I have chosen this life for myself. No one is forcing me to sacrifice for this career. I could choose to blow off writing/practicing so that I can hang with friends more often or because I’d like to sleep a bit more. My priorities won’t let me. I know that with each moment that passes, someone, somewhere is practicing, writing, and achieving their dreams. I want that too, so I continue to press on. I will not settle for less and I will not let my sacrifices be in vain.

Breaking free from society’s view of a “normal” life, to make my music happen, has been one of the most freeing experiences ever. I understand how terrifying it is to step out of your comfort zone and declare yourself to be a self-employed musician. You never know where your next paycheck will come from unless you actively seek out music gigs. The thing is, the jobs are out there. To be honest, I’m swamped! The problem is that many musicians develop an attitude where they feel they are above certain paying gigs. For instance, I am a symphonic metal vocalist…but I also play the piano for local high school chorus concerts, music theatre events, recitals, orchestra concerts, churches, and special events. I help instruct a local high school marching band. I teach private voice and piano lessons. I play the trumpet, flute, or violin with various chamber ensembles. I record the vocals for various songwriters. I compose music for various groups. I am working in music and supporting myself. Do I love every paid music opportunity that comes my way? No. There are times when I’d like to pull my hair out. In fact, there was a time when I was so ungrateful for my music opportunities, that I actually stopped all of it to work a “normal” job. I was the most miserable person on the planet. This was a very good thing, because I realized:

 #1 It is ALWAYS my choice as to how I make money and if I am miserable, only I have the power to change that…IF I am brave enough to step out of my comfort zone and do something about it, instead of just complaining. The problem is, people make you feel like you are being risky or irresponsible by choosing a career that isn’t like everyone else’s. They threaten you with supporting your family and saving for retirement. People think that if you are told you will receive a paycheck every Friday and you receive health benefits, you are set. News flash…let’s wake up! This economy is making every job a risk. Teachers and health care providers are losing their jobs. Health benefits cost entirely too much (U.S.). The cost of living is increasing. There isn’t a safe option, so instead of living a miserable existence with blinders on and assuming that your job is safe, why not pursue a career that you will love? When you love your work, you will be a “go-getter” and you’ll go after the opportunities and do a fantastic job. Mediocre craftsmanship and poor customer service skills are getting old. If people actually loved their work, I’m willing to bet that these issues would disappear. I think that if everyone would stop holding back each other’s dreams with their own fears and insecurities, we’d all be successful and thriving. I also think that we’d all treat each other more kindly.

#2 If I’m going to succeed in music, I must tailor my money-making careers and relationships to suit the time requirements of a musician. This is reality. We have 24 hours in a day. If you don’t put in the time now, you will not have anything to show later. Quit kidding yourself with thoughts of “I’ll do it tomorrow…or someday I will have time.” If you don’t get serious now, you will never do it. There is never a “better time” to achieve your dreams. If you can’t motivate yourself to get off the couch and practice or pull yourself away from the TV to write a few bars, then you probably shouldn’t be a musician. Backbone makes a true musician…not wishbone. You will end up wishing your entire life away if you don’t make time for your dreams now. You need to figure out how much time you need to dedicate to your craft each day. Obviously, if you want to be a professional musician, you must spend more time than if you want to be an amateur. Then, you MUST stick with this. The thing that just fries me, is that people must think that the magic music fairy comes and taps me on the head and I can magically perform with ease. When I say that I can’t go out for drinks because I have practice…I seriously mean it. It is my work. It is my dream. Respect it. It is important. If I don’t practice, I become mediocre and I won’t get the gigs. If you can’t make yourself sacrifice time for practicing, don’t plan on being a professional. Your money-making career needs to be something that allows you to have enough time to achieve your goals. When I decided to work a “normal” job, I was working incredibly long hours that left me unable to dedicate enough time for music. This not only effected my progress, but exhausted me emotionally. I became a cranky person like the majority of the people out there that have settled on careers that they don’t enjoy. I did my “normal” job up to standards, but I had absolutely no drive to be an overachiever at the “normal” job. It bothered me that I knew I could be doing an even better job at the “normal” job, but lacked the desire to go beyond what was required. I knew that many of the other employees felt the same and they also had dreams of other careers. I wondered how the world would be if employers hired the people that were actually excited to do certain jobs and if we all pursued the careers that interested us. I looked forward to going home each day and stressed about returning to the “normal” job the next day. It was a dreadful way to exist. My music skills began to deteriorate and I couldn’t seem to gain any ground in music. I was spinning my wheels. Finally, I woke up…got some courage…got a business plan…and jumped completely into music.

#3 Be grateful! So, I learned to be very grateful for all of my music jobs. I genuinely enjoy working in music. I learn so much and continue to refine my skills as a musician…which helps me get closer to achieving my dream. Yes, there are quite a few frustrations. I despise working with egotistical conductors and mean people. I get highly irritated when students don’t practice and constantly cancel their lessons. I don’t enjoy being on a football field with a marching band that is bickering & has lost their drive to work because it is cold and rainy. I’m not exactly thrilled when people give me a last minute gig with incredibly difficult music to learn...that no person in their right mind would ever accept (I swear I must be insane sometimes haha!). However, I am truly grateful that people value my skills enough to seek me out. I am grateful for the paycheck, I am grateful for the wonderful musicians I have worked with, I am grateful that I have been able to help other musicians achieve their music goals, but even more than that…I am grateful that my money-making jobs allow me the time to pursue my music dream of having an incredible symphonic metal band. When people hire me, they are not only receiving a high quality performance, but they are helping me to achieve my goals in music. I’m not sure that they even consider that, but I know that I am forever grateful for their support, and I will never take that for granted.

Dreams are important. Money is important. One is not less or more than the other…unless YOU decide that for your life. Balance is the key. Sacrifice is necessary. Attitude is everything. Quit wishing and start achieving.

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!

Musician Misconception

I am incredibly grateful to be working with some awesome musicians that share the same passion for music, as I do (finally!!!!). This is the start of what could possibly be THE ultimate band. These guys have loads of talent and pro experience. They mean business, and refuse to settle for the mediocre mentality. We all live in different states, but the level of dedication is greater than any local groups I’ve worked with…proving again, that convenience should never be a deciding factor when following your dreams. I’m enjoying the process since they all contribute and have such great ideas/skills to bring to the table. In short, we are all professional musicians, we’re all on the same page regarding what we want to accomplish, and I couldn’t be happier about the level of talent. I have not heard the typical slam “you are trained…so you are too serious & you need to relax.” These guys are just as serious. I’ve got to admit, this has helped to fuel the fire and I’m motivated more than ever.

Most of my blog topics come from conversations with fellow musicians. This blog topic is one that comes up frequently. Today, I want to discuss a misconception regarding the life of a true musician in relation to non-musicians. By “true musician,” I mean the person that makes music more than a hobby. I’m talking about a career minded musician. My purpose is to expose an assumption regarding true musicians and hopefully give non-musicians a better understanding of why we are the way we are. True musicians may want to share this in their non-musician relationships. I realize that there are always exceptions, so please keep in mind that my opinions are based off of what I’ve experienced and what musicians in my circle have experienced.

Misconception: True musicians will eventually “grow up” and get a “real job,” especially if someone continuously points out how impractical it is to make music a career.

This misconception really hits home for a lot of musicians and we wish that non-musicians would stop assuming & trying to change us. I can’t even begin to express how selfish it is to make someone give up on their dreams because the vision doesn’t fit into the non-musician’s plans. If you choose to have any type of relationship with a true musician, you must realize that they will not be capable of giving up their music without serious consequences and the majority of their time will be spent on music. Music is unlike anything in the universe. Science has proven this! Music does so many wonderful things for a body and even more so for the person that is actually creating the music. Music becomes similar to food for a true musician. They will actually become sick and/or depressed without it. Why do non-musicians have such a difficult time understanding the true musician? They can’t relate since music is a unique passion that can’t be fully understood unless you actually become a true musician. They can’t understand how anyone can spend every waking moment on their career, even when they aren’t being paid to practice, and STILL love it regardless of the technical challenges, repetition, creative blocks, overuse injuries, expense, long hours, etc. The closest thing I can liken it to, is being a professional athlete and I’m fairly certain that athletes take all kinds of grief from people when they announce that they want to play pro-football for a living. I’m sure that people initially say, “that sounds like fun, but not many people make it and you won’t make any money unless you do. It is too risky. You need a back-up plan.”  Musicians hear the same negative words. I mean honestly, why do non-musicians feel the need to point out the risks involved, as if we never considered it? Just imagine your world if all of the athletes and musicians decided to give up because a non-athlete or non-musician said it wasn’t practical. It is okay to express your concerns regarding a career, but then why not also point out some positive aspects and wish the person well? Encouragement is a key to success in any field. No one likes to disappoint others or do poorly. Negativity only causes tension and doubt, which leads to the failure of relationships and careers. Consider how you feel when someone only points out the negative aspects of things in your life. Support dreams…not because you value the dream itself, but because you value the person that has the dream. It is not your place to judge or choose anyone’s dream. Keep in mind that the true musician, upon achieving their dreams, will not forget which people supported their dream and which people tried to tell them to give up and get a “real job.”

On the other side of the coin…

Musicians should not stop non-musicians from achieving their dreams. As musicians, most of us understand what it feels like to not have support and encouragement. Make sure that you are encouraging the dreams of others and not allowing your music to take away from their dreams. In other words, you have just as much right to follow your music dreams, as the non-musician does for their dreams. Don’t judge and claim that your music dream is more important than anyone else’s dream. Every dream is important. Remember, you don’t have to like the dream…but support the person because you like them.

Finally, if you have people in your life that still refuse to support your dreams or if they place certain conditions on supporting your dreams, you need to make a choice between your dream and that relationship. Some people are toxic. They can’t freely give their love, friendship, compliments, support, etc. without placing certain stipulations on people. They insist that everything must be done as they see the world and refuse to trust that you are capable of doing things well in your own way. They will present every negative aspect of your dream and tell you that you are irresponsible, risky, or out of your mind. This is generally brought on by the fear that your dream will negatively impact their life. Most negative people don’t like change because they can only view the negative aspects of the change. It is easier for these people to think on what could go wrong than to think on what could go right. You can’t change them, and you shouldn’t. Remember, you don’t enjoy it when people try to change you. It is a difficult thing when the people you care for the most, choose to not support your dream. I know families that oppress each other and refuse to support career paths that are outside of certain fields of study. What a terrible thing it is to control another person’s path with threats and demands that force them into a life they never wanted. What a terrible thing to make a person choose between their dream and relationships.

"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." -Oscar Wilde

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours." -Henry David Thoreau

"Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be." -Joy Page

"No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams." -Jesse Jackson

Gratitude

This Thanksgiving (U.S.), I’m grateful for everything that has guided me to music. Some things were very wonderful events that anyone would be grateful for, but other experiences were not so nice. Sometimes, you find your calling through tragedy (see my first few blog posts). Every once in awhile, you need something that shakes your world up and gives you a different perspective. All of the events in my life so far, have been exactly what I needed to get myself headed in the right direction. I can see the influence of every teacher, friend, enemy, failed relationship, and family member. The kind words of encouragement have meant just as much as the words that were meant to take the wind out of my sails…both have kept my passion alive in their own ways.  Health scares, pain, loss, and weakness, have made me grateful to be alive and healthy…but also created a sense of urgency to really live my life, use my talents, and pursue what I love, since I’m not promised another day.  Even my inability to locate the right musicians for my band, has been something to be thankful for. Sure, I want to find them, but in the mean time, I have opportunities that I wouldn’t have had otherwise and I’m learning so much about myself as a musician. Yes, I’m very thankful every day of my life, not just when things are going along smoothly. All “good” and seemingly “bad’ things are all quite positive when you look at every experience as a lesson to learn. My mom always reminds me that, “behind every cloud, there is a silver lining.” Find the positive in every scenario and at the end of each day, reflect back on all of the things you have to be grateful for.  This act will help to fill you back up so that you have something left to give. Sometimes, you even stumble upon the lyrics to a new song! Happy Thanksgiving to those in the U.S. and many blessings to you all!

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”  ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Music Help

Everything in the music industry has changed so much due to the internet. Gone are the days of being "discovered" on a stage in the middle of nowhere. Record companies used to take such huge risks on new artists. These days, the internet has given them a bit more "insurance" on their gamble. Sites such as YouTube, keep track of how many views a video or channel is receiving. The unknown artist has the ability to show a record company that there are enough people interested in their music. Even television shows, such as "American Idol," use a similar method by allowing the public to vote on their favorite artist. This is to help show which artist will make them more money. The artist with more talent may not stand a chance when it comes to the popularity contest of the general public. There are so many non-music elements that the public may opt to vote on, such as appearance, race, sex, etc. I think we can all think of certain famous artists that may not have the music talent of a lesser known artist, but because they opted to show more skin, the public fell for it and that artist shot to the top. It doesn't seem fair from a true musician's point of view, but that is what we are up against. Today's music is a battle between true musicians and the cheap imitations. It is up to the public to decide who wins.

The quality of music is declining rapidly in many ways. I personally feel that this is due to the lack of support for the true musician...and by "true musician," I mean the musician that has actually studied, practiced, and opted to learn from great musicians. I am not talking about the person that can match pitch, sings karaoke, or occasionally plays guitar around a camp fire and then decides to audition for "American Idol." I'm talking about real technique and discipline. Most true musicians feel a sense of accomplishment from striving to be better and achieving success based off of their talent and not a popularity contest. However, the true musician is now forced into the popularity contest by the need to "show the numbers" to the record companies. This is where I'm at, and I need your help. I have been busy loading some of my original songs and a few covers to YouTube. I will load more updated versions once I finish recording them, but I've been instructed to get things moving along. I need to promote my music and prove myself worthy to the record company. I'd be incredibly grateful if you would go to my YouTube channel, watch my videos, share them with your friends via Facebook and such, subscribe to my channel, and spread the word when you have a chance. Your help is so valuable to me, and I thank you for your support! Also, support your other favorite, new artists. They depend on your help and I'm sure they would appreciate it as well. Thanks again! Keri Weber's YouTube Channel

Positive Mind of Dreams

After last week's extremely frustrating post, I spent a great deal of time thinking about how I should proceed with my music and getting my attitude back into a more positive place. It is difficult to always have a smile, speak positively, and see nothing but rainbows and unicorns. I try my best to not get down, but I think everyone has their moments. I think it's great to have a supportive group of people that are there to encourage you through the rough patches. While I don't have anyone that stands by to encourage me on with my music consistently, I am fortunate to have people that offer kind words upon hearing my material and those comments help me tremendously. I am also fortunate to know some very talented musicians, and their performances, recordings, and words of advice are worth more than I can even say.

I hesitate to discuss what my next step will be, because the details are not complete. However, this is how I'd like things to go. I will be recording a few songs under the guidance of an incredible musician/producer that has performed with some of the greatest bands/musicians in the world. He is such a positive and inspiring person. He also has his degree in music, like me. This is wonderful, because we can "speak the same language" and he also values the same level of detail that I crave. I'm certain that I will learn a great deal from this experience! If I like the direction that the songs go, I may end up recording a full album with him. The goal is to use this album to attract the right musicians for my music. It is difficult to accurately describe with words, what I want my music to be, and much more efficient to just play a recording. The recording will also be a great way to showcase what my voice can do these days, in the event that I should choose to audition for a band. Of course the ideal scenario is that my recording will get into the right hands and poof...I'll have a contract AND a band. I'm pushing for that. I am working my butt off to make this happen.

As I said before, I spent some time getting my attitude back into a more positive place. The following quotes really helped me to remember to focus on the positive, believe in my abilities, learn from my mistakes, stay passionate, and to never give up. Life loses meaning when you don't have dreams to work towards. Back to the drawing board...aka...the piano and MacBook. Thanks for reading!

“The tragedy in life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.”–Benjamin Mays

“Enter every activity without giving mental recognition to the possibility of defeat. Concentrate on your strengths, instead of your weaknesses… on your powers, instead of your problems.”–Paul J. Meyer

“Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”–Calvin Coolidge

“An invincible determination can accomplish almost anything and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men.”–Thomas Fuller

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”–Norman Vincent Peale

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”–Winston Churchill

“Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach their potential.”–John Maxwell

“Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success.”-- Thomas J. Watson 

A Nice Warm Cup of Frustration

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster of excitement and disappointment right now. Things are good and bad, all at the same time. I have several great opportunities in front of me, but I am only able to pick one. I'm indecisive at the moment. It irritates me to be like this. However, I'm grateful for the opportunities! Meanwhile, I ended up losing two older opportunities. One was my own choice. I pulled myself from a project because I just didn't feel that it was my style. Remember my previous blog post on not selling out when it comes to your style? Ha ha ha! I guess I taught myself a lesson! I care about other people's music and I felt that someone else would be better suited to bring the music to life. I honestly want to help people succeed with their music and I never want to hold anyone back. The other opportunity involved a very exciting recording opportunity that has evaporated into thin air. I feel that it is due to very busy, successful musicians...that truly want to help me, but lack the time. I am incredibly frustrated, as this scenario has continuously played out over and over. There are so many generous musicians that have so much to offer, but they are too busy with their own projects. I'm very happy for them, but I'm left wondering...now what? So, once again...I'm starting back at the beginning of the maze and hoping that my next path leads me closer to what I want. I've evolved so much in my music tastes/style. My writing is better. I'm enjoying things even more! Singing feels so wonderful and free. I feel very connected with my emotions and I'm able to express them more. I really like the direction I'm headed from a trained musician's perspective. As I'm growing my skills, I'm discovering that what I want, is also changing. I want a group of talented and dedicated musicians to step up and be committed to my band. I'm tired of dealing with the talented musicians that decide to ruin themselves with drugs and alcohol. I'm done giving them chances. I'm also tired of being the one that puts 110% into travel, practice, expenses, etc...while everyone else sits back because they know I will go the extra mile because the band is my passion. I'm tired of being the nice one that forgives the guitarist for the third time after showing up to practice unprepared. I'm sick of the unprofessional, jam band mentality. I'm tired of my band becoming a place for musician-like creatures to come test the waters and leave when they find something better. In short, I'm getting really angry, frustrated, and impatient. I will not sell out on my style. I will not work with those that can't stay sober, practice, and show up prepared. I will not work with those that are not willing to give 110%. And here I sit...crickets chirping...alone. I'm using this time to decide, reflect, and let the air clear from the mess that is left. I laugh to myself when I think of all of the musicians that have seemingly disappointed me. I realize that the disappointment is actually due to my standards. I just never realized that asking for healthy, talented, and dedicated musicians was such a stretch. They've GOT to be out there. Sigh. On with my search...back into the maze.

Selling Out, Practicing, and Moving On

My music career is moving along. I've been busy networking quite a bit. Great friends have put me in touch with some musicians that are willing to help me. This has all resulted in working on my music with a wonderful musician/producer from NYC/England. He is quite an inspiration to talk to, as his own story is full of struggles and incredible moments. I'm looking forward to letting you know more about him and the work on my music!

Since my last blog post, I've run across situations where the following issues have come up. I thought I'd share my views with the hope that this will help someone out in the music world...or any other field that you love.

#1 Selling out on your style for the sake of "making it," is NOT "making it." I feel like I need to say that to almost every musician that contacts me for an audition. People get very excited when they hear of well formed plans, gigs/touring, industry connections, etc. However, playing a style that you don't love will just cause tension in the group, you will be miserable, and the music will suffer. Also, musicians should avoid trying to change musicians that love another style. It is one thing to evolve, and an entirely different thing to be forced. There is something to be said for musicians that truly love what they do...and an obvious difference in the quality of their playing.

#2 Practicing isn't an option and it takes a significant amount of time. I don't understand how people think that they can be really great without the work. There is nothing wrong with using music as a hobby. The problem comes when people decide to enter the professional world and never consider the practicing/training involved. Shows like American Idol, glamorize the music industry and make people think that real training/practice isn't necessary. I have found that this concept is gaining speed in younger generations. They go off to college for music, but lack the discipline to practice on their own. They only practice the minimum needed to accomplish requirements for their degree. They end up being good musicians, but not excellent. Musicians that take the time to study with a great teacher and practice for countless hours, are superior to those that don't. They are also less likely to injure themselves from improper technique. This used to be common sense, but common sense isn't so common anymore.

#3 Sometimes you need to know when to move on.  There must be something in the air, but I have talked with so many musicians lately, that are thinking of giving up their serious music careers. People give up too soon. It is difficult to achieve extraordinary things. That is why many never make it. They don't like the uncomfortable feelings when things go wrong and they give up. Giving up on your dream out of frustration...is not acceptable. Giving up on your dream because your band fell apart...is not acceptable. Giving up on your dream because you feel like you work so hard and get nothing in return...is not acceptable. You can only give up and feel good about it, when you've found a dream to pursue that completely wipes out the old dream. I changed my dreams in music several times, but only because I found more fulfilling ways to make music. The important thing is that you discover your passion in life. I think that one of the worst things a person can do, is give up on a dream and spend the rest of their life wondering..."what if?"

The Lies We Believe

Lately, I’ve had the opportunity to network with some wonderful musicians. It was great to share stories and talk music. I always find it to be very inspiring! Everyone needs those “breaths of fresh air” to get them energized. I really needed it! I’m still practicing and writing…more than ever. I’m very excited over some of my newer music. I’ve been working with various software, that has opened up a whole new palette of fun. The writing process is now WAY more efficient for me and allows for more creativity at a higher level. Now, I’m just searching for my dream band. It would be great if they’d show up today! Patience is a virtue…and I’ve yet to master it.

I decided that I wanted to write this blog post on success. I realize that I discuss various aspects of success and achieving dreams, quite often, but it is so important. It is a huge aspect of how I am pursuing my music career. It is also something that comes up often when I speak with other musicians and those that are considering a career change. It is something that we tend to skew with incorrect thinking. I speak from personal experience! I also think that everyone can benefit from learning more about success, since we all seek it on some level.

Success has nothing to do with achieving a degree in a field that you don’t love. Success is NOT about choosing a job just because it yields a large paycheck. It is not about entering an occupation for the sake of status. Success is not about working a job that makes you miserable. It is not about having the typical life with a wife and 2.5 kids, just because your family expected that. Success has never been about following a path that someone else thinks is best for you. Yet, we lie to ourselves. We lie to our friends and families. We say things about how happy we will be when we have the large paycheck, the largest office, the house, the fancy cars, the wife, and what others perceive to be “the good life.” We quietly seek acceptance by fulfilling other people’s dreams for our lives. This mindset is what destroys the best of intentions.

There is a man that goes to his job each and every day. He hates his job but sticks with this career because “everyone” (family/friends) says that he does well and they just can’t imagine him doing anything else. He also feels pressured into his job since he went to the trouble of getting a degree and spent many years training for this career. He has a respectable position with a decent income and benefits. He has had great success in his career since he likes to do everything well and fears failure. From the outside, everyone thinks that he is very successful, but deep down…he hates his life. He knows that he is actually capable of doing his job even better, but he just does what he needs to do to keep the successful appearance moving along. This all tears away at his spirit and messes with his mind. He knows he is capable of more and has hidden dreams of what his perfect world would look like. However, he continues to make choices in his life that are not about what he wants. He allows others to pressure him into living a certain life. His professional and personal lives are a lie.

Success is something that comes from inside of you. Success is about being true to who you are and believing that you have just as much right to live a great life as anyone else. It is about standing up for yourself and going after the things that you truly want. It is about failing and not giving up. Success comes when you pursue your dreams and refuse to trade them in for the sake of fulfilling someone else’s vision for your life. Success demands that you climb over every hurdle while keeping your eyes on your dream. Success makes you fight for what you want, because things mean so much more when you have to struggle. Real success rewards those that refuse to trade in their dreams on something that seemed easier to achieve. Most people have not achieved real success. They’ve traded in their dreams on something that was viewed as “the sensible thing to do.”

There is one factor that turns people away from true success. This “bad seed” that takes root in the mind, has turned many people away from reaching their full potential. It destroys dreams daily. It causes people to make incredibly poor decisions. It is responsible for ruining lives. People try to blame others for the fact that they gave up, or say that they didn’t have the resources to achieve their goals. People have many excuses as to why they didn’t “make it” and completely ignore what was actually responsible for their shortcoming. This ignorance just helps to fuel more misery and creates a “snowball effect” of more bad decisions. People end up living fake lives due to one sneaky mind game. Fear.

Fear is that “voice of reason” that says:

Ex. 1 “Go be a lawyer because you’ll definitely have a job and plenty of money…don’t bother with performing music. That is just a hobby. You’ll never make it. It is too difficult. Can you afford to waste so much time on this pursuit? How will you ever retire? You need to find a real job. Music isn’t a stable career. How will you support yourself? Everyone thinks I should teach music because that is a normal career and the pay is stable. At least I’d still be working in music…sort of. I guess that is better than nothing. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. I don’t want people to think less of me.”

Ex. 2 “You should marry her. She is nice. You know you’re getting older now. What if you end up alone? You’ll probably never meet anyone else. You’ve been with her for a while now. You’ve been through so much together. She is pressuring me to get married. What if she leaves me? Her family is so nice to me. My parents love her. They assume we are getting married. How can I possibly let everyone down?”

I think that most people can relate with these two examples. You can easily see how a life can be drastically changed. Consider how miserable most people are with their careers and their marriages. They failed to wait for what they really wanted. They allowed fear to make their decisions. They now live a lie.

It is easy for me to sit here and write this now. I used to feel this fear. That voice tried to ruin my life. I hear it creep in periodically, but I refuse to let it take over. Why? Because I believe that I have a talent for music. I have confidence that I am good at it. I love the hours I spend practicing, writing, singing, and recording. I work so hard…and yet, even though there are many frustrations, I still love it. I want to do it even if I don’t make a million dollars or win a Grammy. I will continue to try to be as good as I can possibly be and take my performing as far as I can go. I will not give up. I’ve already achieved success by staying true to who I am. I’m happy. I’m satisfied with having this talent and getting the opportunity to achieve higher levels of music each day. I would never trade what I do for a job that pays me more, bores me to tears, and fulfills what others think I should do for a living. As I’ve said before in previous posts, no one has the right to decide your life for you. It is not wrong to know what you love to do and then pursue it. It is okay to try it and fail! It is NOT okay to fail and then give up on your dreams. All successful people have pushed through their failures. We need to quit thinking that easy is right. We need to help people up from their failures by encouraging them to move forward with their dreams. We need to stop thinking that the top paying, “normal” careers are our only options. We need to make our big decisions based off of what we know about ourselves versus what others think they know about us. We need to stop living in fear. We need to believe that we are worth more than lies. Stop settling for jobs that make you unhappy. Stop settling for relationships that are mediocre. Stop living your life the way others tell you to live. Yes, it is terrifying to change because that voice of fear has its claws in you. However, you get one life. It is YOUR fault if you choose to waste it.