A Nice Warm Cup of Frustration

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster of excitement and disappointment right now. Things are good and bad, all at the same time. I have several great opportunities in front of me, but I am only able to pick one. I'm indecisive at the moment. It irritates me to be like this. However, I'm grateful for the opportunities! Meanwhile, I ended up losing two older opportunities. One was my own choice. I pulled myself from a project because I just didn't feel that it was my style. Remember my previous blog post on not selling out when it comes to your style? Ha ha ha! I guess I taught myself a lesson! I care about other people's music and I felt that someone else would be better suited to bring the music to life. I honestly want to help people succeed with their music and I never want to hold anyone back. The other opportunity involved a very exciting recording opportunity that has evaporated into thin air. I feel that it is due to very busy, successful musicians...that truly want to help me, but lack the time. I am incredibly frustrated, as this scenario has continuously played out over and over. There are so many generous musicians that have so much to offer, but they are too busy with their own projects. I'm very happy for them, but I'm left wondering...now what? So, once again...I'm starting back at the beginning of the maze and hoping that my next path leads me closer to what I want. I've evolved so much in my music tastes/style. My writing is better. I'm enjoying things even more! Singing feels so wonderful and free. I feel very connected with my emotions and I'm able to express them more. I really like the direction I'm headed from a trained musician's perspective. As I'm growing my skills, I'm discovering that what I want, is also changing. I want a group of talented and dedicated musicians to step up and be committed to my band. I'm tired of dealing with the talented musicians that decide to ruin themselves with drugs and alcohol. I'm done giving them chances. I'm also tired of being the one that puts 110% into travel, practice, expenses, etc...while everyone else sits back because they know I will go the extra mile because the band is my passion. I'm tired of being the nice one that forgives the guitarist for the third time after showing up to practice unprepared. I'm sick of the unprofessional, jam band mentality. I'm tired of my band becoming a place for musician-like creatures to come test the waters and leave when they find something better. In short, I'm getting really angry, frustrated, and impatient. I will not sell out on my style. I will not work with those that can't stay sober, practice, and show up prepared. I will not work with those that are not willing to give 110%. And here I sit...crickets chirping...alone. I'm using this time to decide, reflect, and let the air clear from the mess that is left. I laugh to myself when I think of all of the musicians that have seemingly disappointed me. I realize that the disappointment is actually due to my standards. I just never realized that asking for healthy, talented, and dedicated musicians was such a stretch. They've GOT to be out there. Sigh. On with my search...back into the maze.

Selling Out, Practicing, and Moving On

My music career is moving along. I've been busy networking quite a bit. Great friends have put me in touch with some musicians that are willing to help me. This has all resulted in working on my music with a wonderful musician/producer from NYC/England. He is quite an inspiration to talk to, as his own story is full of struggles and incredible moments. I'm looking forward to letting you know more about him and the work on my music!

Since my last blog post, I've run across situations where the following issues have come up. I thought I'd share my views with the hope that this will help someone out in the music world...or any other field that you love.

#1 Selling out on your style for the sake of "making it," is NOT "making it." I feel like I need to say that to almost every musician that contacts me for an audition. People get very excited when they hear of well formed plans, gigs/touring, industry connections, etc. However, playing a style that you don't love will just cause tension in the group, you will be miserable, and the music will suffer. Also, musicians should avoid trying to change musicians that love another style. It is one thing to evolve, and an entirely different thing to be forced. There is something to be said for musicians that truly love what they do...and an obvious difference in the quality of their playing.

#2 Practicing isn't an option and it takes a significant amount of time. I don't understand how people think that they can be really great without the work. There is nothing wrong with using music as a hobby. The problem comes when people decide to enter the professional world and never consider the practicing/training involved. Shows like American Idol, glamorize the music industry and make people think that real training/practice isn't necessary. I have found that this concept is gaining speed in younger generations. They go off to college for music, but lack the discipline to practice on their own. They only practice the minimum needed to accomplish requirements for their degree. They end up being good musicians, but not excellent. Musicians that take the time to study with a great teacher and practice for countless hours, are superior to those that don't. They are also less likely to injure themselves from improper technique. This used to be common sense, but common sense isn't so common anymore.

#3 Sometimes you need to know when to move on.  There must be something in the air, but I have talked with so many musicians lately, that are thinking of giving up their serious music careers. People give up too soon. It is difficult to achieve extraordinary things. That is why many never make it. They don't like the uncomfortable feelings when things go wrong and they give up. Giving up on your dream out of frustration...is not acceptable. Giving up on your dream because your band fell apart...is not acceptable. Giving up on your dream because you feel like you work so hard and get nothing in return...is not acceptable. You can only give up and feel good about it, when you've found a dream to pursue that completely wipes out the old dream. I changed my dreams in music several times, but only because I found more fulfilling ways to make music. The important thing is that you discover your passion in life. I think that one of the worst things a person can do, is give up on a dream and spend the rest of their life wondering..."what if?"

The Lies We Believe

Lately, I’ve had the opportunity to network with some wonderful musicians. It was great to share stories and talk music. I always find it to be very inspiring! Everyone needs those “breaths of fresh air” to get them energized. I really needed it! I’m still practicing and writing…more than ever. I’m very excited over some of my newer music. I’ve been working with various software, that has opened up a whole new palette of fun. The writing process is now WAY more efficient for me and allows for more creativity at a higher level. Now, I’m just searching for my dream band. It would be great if they’d show up today! Patience is a virtue…and I’ve yet to master it.

I decided that I wanted to write this blog post on success. I realize that I discuss various aspects of success and achieving dreams, quite often, but it is so important. It is a huge aspect of how I am pursuing my music career. It is also something that comes up often when I speak with other musicians and those that are considering a career change. It is something that we tend to skew with incorrect thinking. I speak from personal experience! I also think that everyone can benefit from learning more about success, since we all seek it on some level.

Success has nothing to do with achieving a degree in a field that you don’t love. Success is NOT about choosing a job just because it yields a large paycheck. It is not about entering an occupation for the sake of status. Success is not about working a job that makes you miserable. It is not about having the typical life with a wife and 2.5 kids, just because your family expected that. Success has never been about following a path that someone else thinks is best for you. Yet, we lie to ourselves. We lie to our friends and families. We say things about how happy we will be when we have the large paycheck, the largest office, the house, the fancy cars, the wife, and what others perceive to be “the good life.” We quietly seek acceptance by fulfilling other people’s dreams for our lives. This mindset is what destroys the best of intentions.

There is a man that goes to his job each and every day. He hates his job but sticks with this career because “everyone” (family/friends) says that he does well and they just can’t imagine him doing anything else. He also feels pressured into his job since he went to the trouble of getting a degree and spent many years training for this career. He has a respectable position with a decent income and benefits. He has had great success in his career since he likes to do everything well and fears failure. From the outside, everyone thinks that he is very successful, but deep down…he hates his life. He knows that he is actually capable of doing his job even better, but he just does what he needs to do to keep the successful appearance moving along. This all tears away at his spirit and messes with his mind. He knows he is capable of more and has hidden dreams of what his perfect world would look like. However, he continues to make choices in his life that are not about what he wants. He allows others to pressure him into living a certain life. His professional and personal lives are a lie.

Success is something that comes from inside of you. Success is about being true to who you are and believing that you have just as much right to live a great life as anyone else. It is about standing up for yourself and going after the things that you truly want. It is about failing and not giving up. Success comes when you pursue your dreams and refuse to trade them in for the sake of fulfilling someone else’s vision for your life. Success demands that you climb over every hurdle while keeping your eyes on your dream. Success makes you fight for what you want, because things mean so much more when you have to struggle. Real success rewards those that refuse to trade in their dreams on something that seemed easier to achieve. Most people have not achieved real success. They’ve traded in their dreams on something that was viewed as “the sensible thing to do.”

There is one factor that turns people away from true success. This “bad seed” that takes root in the mind, has turned many people away from reaching their full potential. It destroys dreams daily. It causes people to make incredibly poor decisions. It is responsible for ruining lives. People try to blame others for the fact that they gave up, or say that they didn’t have the resources to achieve their goals. People have many excuses as to why they didn’t “make it” and completely ignore what was actually responsible for their shortcoming. This ignorance just helps to fuel more misery and creates a “snowball effect” of more bad decisions. People end up living fake lives due to one sneaky mind game. Fear.

Fear is that “voice of reason” that says:

Ex. 1 “Go be a lawyer because you’ll definitely have a job and plenty of money…don’t bother with performing music. That is just a hobby. You’ll never make it. It is too difficult. Can you afford to waste so much time on this pursuit? How will you ever retire? You need to find a real job. Music isn’t a stable career. How will you support yourself? Everyone thinks I should teach music because that is a normal career and the pay is stable. At least I’d still be working in music…sort of. I guess that is better than nothing. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. I don’t want people to think less of me.”

Ex. 2 “You should marry her. She is nice. You know you’re getting older now. What if you end up alone? You’ll probably never meet anyone else. You’ve been with her for a while now. You’ve been through so much together. She is pressuring me to get married. What if she leaves me? Her family is so nice to me. My parents love her. They assume we are getting married. How can I possibly let everyone down?”

I think that most people can relate with these two examples. You can easily see how a life can be drastically changed. Consider how miserable most people are with their careers and their marriages. They failed to wait for what they really wanted. They allowed fear to make their decisions. They now live a lie.

It is easy for me to sit here and write this now. I used to feel this fear. That voice tried to ruin my life. I hear it creep in periodically, but I refuse to let it take over. Why? Because I believe that I have a talent for music. I have confidence that I am good at it. I love the hours I spend practicing, writing, singing, and recording. I work so hard…and yet, even though there are many frustrations, I still love it. I want to do it even if I don’t make a million dollars or win a Grammy. I will continue to try to be as good as I can possibly be and take my performing as far as I can go. I will not give up. I’ve already achieved success by staying true to who I am. I’m happy. I’m satisfied with having this talent and getting the opportunity to achieve higher levels of music each day. I would never trade what I do for a job that pays me more, bores me to tears, and fulfills what others think I should do for a living. As I’ve said before in previous posts, no one has the right to decide your life for you. It is not wrong to know what you love to do and then pursue it. It is okay to try it and fail! It is NOT okay to fail and then give up on your dreams. All successful people have pushed through their failures. We need to quit thinking that easy is right. We need to help people up from their failures by encouraging them to move forward with their dreams. We need to stop thinking that the top paying, “normal” careers are our only options. We need to make our big decisions based off of what we know about ourselves versus what others think they know about us. We need to stop living in fear. We need to believe that we are worth more than lies. Stop settling for jobs that make you unhappy. Stop settling for relationships that are mediocre. Stop living your life the way others tell you to live. Yes, it is terrifying to change because that voice of fear has its claws in you. However, you get one life. It is YOUR fault if you choose to waste it.

Hanging On

"When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure." -Marshall



"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained." -Curie




It has been almost 2 months since my last post. Many things have happened, personally and professionally, but I'm still not giving up. The negative things that have happened are no more than stepping stones that are leading me towards my goals. I think that I need these difficulties in my life to spur me on to better things. I'm very loyal, stubborn, driven, and focused (yes, I'm very German haha!). It isn't in my nature to change things, unless something gets in my way. So, the fact that I can't seem to locate a suitable lead guitar in my area, is just a stepping stone. I would rather wait for the right guitar player, than work with someone that isn't the right fit for this group. However, I am only giving my current location one more year to produce the right musician for the job. While it would certainly make my life so much easier if I didn't have to move, I'm willing to do what it takes to have a great band. 


As for my out of town band, things have been on hold with our recording. Feeding money into a very hungry recording project, takes a gigantic money tree. Our tree was chopped down by unexpected events. Fortunately, our project is not over. We will continue to record shortly, and I'm very grateful for that. 


In the mean time, I've been writing more songs. I just wish that I could hear them with a full band. I can hear the music teasing me in my head...but I need to hear it live. I'm currently researching the technology that will allow me to do that. If I need to record the missing parts myself, I will. I feel like I might as well take things into my own hands and accomplish what I can, as I wait for the right guitarist. He has GOT to be out there somewhere! If you happen to see him...send him my way. Meanwhile, I will continue to remind myself of the two quotes above and I will continue to take steps forward in pursuit of my goal. As always, thanks so much for your support and for following my journey.

Achieving Dreams

Time to get real. Goals are important, but when your sole purpose in life is to retire as soon as possible, there is something wrong. It seems that society thinks that getting a "normal" job, getting married, having kids, and waiting to retire is the only way to live. I've viewed too many of these stereotypical families...and they are miserable. They think misery is a normal part of life. They accept it and feel that they are doing the "responsible" and "decent" thing. They rush off to marry people they don't even really like, just so they find someone to help fulfill what society expects of them. People are afraid to actually do what is in their heart. They are afraid because other people make them feel like they are inferior or less of a person if they choose to actually fulfill their dreams. Settling for a mediocre life has become the standard. If you choose to step outside of the box, society frowns on you...unless...you actually succeed. Consider this: all of the famous musicians/bands/scientists/doctors/lawyers/actors had to start at the same point as anyone else...the beginning. Each person had to work their way to the top of their field. They faced naysayers and other negative feedback. They didn't quit. They didn't settle. They knew they were capable of more and refused to accept less. Yes, we all know the rare stories of those that had great luck and made it to the top with little struggle, but most had to work hard and push through the negativity. Giving up and settling on a mediocre life is not in the cards for me. I've faced numerous awful things to get to where I'm at, and I refuse to let all of my work and suffering be in vain. If you choose to have the life of your dreams, surround yourself with the people that will support and encourage you. Drop the negative people. No one has the right to judge your life...and everyone has the right to live their life the way they want to live it. If I want to get married, have kids, and be a rockstar...I should be allowed to do that without people judging my ability to have a relationship, raise kids, and perform. People need to stop all of the negativity and encourage each other. A little encouragement goes a long way. People would enjoy life, and do everything at a higher standard if they were allowed to live their life the way they wanted, and if they felt that they would be accepted. Life is too short to be miserable. Don't give up on your dreams, but if you do...don't rip down those that work hard to fulfill their dreams.  I never want to retire from music. It is difficult, exhausting, and frustrating. I love it anyways. I succeed every day that I refuse to settle.

Speaking of success...things are moving along on the recording front with my local band. Very unexpected and great things are happening! More info soon! Until then...keep sending positive vibes my way and keep working on your dreams! Don't settle!

Update

Things have been extremely busy in a good way! Here it is...a Friday night, and I'm finally coming up for a breath. I thought I'd pop in and update you. I've been busy working on recording projects, writing some very exciting new material, performing random gigs, and auditioning new members for my local group. I'm anxious to have some new recordings to share with you soon! Please hang in there with me, as my schedule has made it very difficult to post as frequently as I would like. I will give you more details shortly!

Critical Killjoy

Hi everyone! First off, thanks so much for reading this blog. People from over ten countries have been following this blog and getting in touch with me with further questions and comments. If you'd like to suggest a future blog subject or have any questions...feel free to get in touch! I greatly appreciate the time that you take to show your support and offer advice/words of encouragement. Secondly, I've been busy working on the music for the recording with my "out of town" band. Things are going great so far! As for my "hometown band," things are starting to turn the corner. Other musicians have been pulled into the picture and there seems to be a good vibe. I've also managed to write a few more songs, and I'm looking forward to working them with the band.

In this blog post, I'd like to discuss the critical voices of music. Check out the following quotes:

"I hope the four guys who make up the group, whose names don't matter, are putting money away for the future. The near future, because KISS won't be around long."  -Seattle Daily Times May 27, 1974

"If there was a conservatory in Hell, and if one of its talented students was to compose a symphony based on the story of the Seven Plagues of Egypt, and if he had written one similar to Rachmaninoff's, he would have brilliantly accomplished his task and would have delighted the inhabitants of Hell." -Cesar Cui, St. Petersburg News, March 16, 1897)

"The Beatles are not merely awful—I would consider it sacrilegious to say anything less than that they are godawful. They are so unbelievably horrible, so appallingly unmusical, so dogmatically insensitive to the magic of the art, that they qualify as crowned heads of anti-music, even as the imposter popes went down in history as 'anti-popes'." -William F. Buckley, 1964.

"The singer (Mick Jagger) will have to go; the BBC won’t like him." -First Rolling Stones manager Eric Easton

There are many more quotes such as these, that we can all shake our heads at and get a good laugh. In this day and age, with shows such as American Idol, criticism has become a driving force in the music industry. Talented individuals listen to the criticism/opinions of a mere handful of the music listening population, and allow other people to decide their fate for them. For some reason, people enjoy watching the process of killing off dreams for the sake of making the popular contestants into stars. While I agree that not everyone is cut out for performing, it makes me wonder what amazing talent and dreams were killed as a result of the nasty, critical voices of the industry. Survival of the fittest is present in nearly every  career, but why are we so quick to attack and so slow to help others achieve their goals? I often wonder what voices/bands were silenced as the result of critics and what songs we will never hear due to someone else's opinion. Critics have become the "peer pressure" of the masses. Most people tend to listen to what the critics decide is good. We are giving up our own voices and allowing someone else to decide for us. I know that there are many movies that received excellent or terrible reviews, but I have found them to be the exact opposite of the critic's view. Consider this when you purchase music. Don't be afraid to listen to the lesser known groups. Decide for yourself. Give other artists a chance and help to promote their music. The critics are merely strangers with a very loud opinion. Music will not progress naturally if the critics continue to gain strength and decide our style for us...much like the fashion industry. Decide for yourself!